2009 is quickly coming to a close and 2010 is just days away. Pastor Steve asked the question at the beginning of the year that is now coming back for review in my heart, he asked, "What history will you make in 2009?" Now that it is over there is the reality slap of looking back and asking that question in light of the facts and events of 2009. What did I build? What personal growth happened in my life this year? Who did I touch? Did compassion mark my life and actions? What books did I read? What relationships was I intentional in investing in? Who did I share Christ with? Did I open up my home? Did I feed the hungry? Was I a comforter to the broken hearted? Did I encourage and uphold the weak?
Question after question rolls through my heart as I look out the window into the early morning hours. Snow covers the ground and I know now is the time to evaluate the past year and begin to make the plan for 2010. A plan involves strategy, timing and hearing God. As King David asked time and time again during his recorded life "Lord, shall I go up? Will You go with me?" King David knew that without God going with him his efforts where in vain and any plan he made without the imprinting of God would end in disaster and barrenness.
I am prone to be the one who is landlocked for fear of failing, coming up short or missing the will and plan of God. Play it safe and do what you know you can accomplish so there is no chance of failing - that is the tendency I resort to. Last night I sat at the table in my room in the dark watching snow fall in soft waves as I brought this place in my heart before the Lord. How do you know what you are born to do? The place of dreaming and asking God His plan for my life has been mainly nonexistent for me. I believe I have not had the courage to look into what God has for me and believe that He could do it with my life. I who is broken and ashamed of places I have failed … and failed repeatedly. Could one such as I make a difference? Could it be possible to make a mark on the world that washes up on the shores of eternity? To live for something greater then myself, my own gain and agenda? On such questions I ponder in the back of my mind while my present contends to keep me living in status quo to preoccupied with the trivial pursuits and routine tasks of life to take action on such thoughts. But why not? If God's Word is true, as I believe it to be, then Paul rightly and accurately portrays the nature and character of God when he writes in Philippians 1:6 "I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will being it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."